1. |
I'll Try To Go To Church
02:37
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i'll try to go to church on christmas
but i don't think i'll have the time
i sing my praise where i stand
from the back of a checkout line
hark the harold angels praise be
our savings on the roll out prices
i'll try, oh lord i'll try
but the egg nog is kicking in
and i'll try, oh my god but i
won't make any promises
now i might, lord only knows i might
see you at the early service
but i, i might sleep in
or open presents with the kids
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2. |
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christmas is about maxing out your credit cards
filling to the top of your subaru car
full of gifts that you chose
in your alter ego
ol' jolly saint nick
he only comes once a year to pick out gifts
for loved ones and people he kinda knows
yeah he kinda knows, well
what happens when you buy a gift
for a kid that you just met
you said well maybe i'll just buy him a tie
or something, i think he kinda likes those things yeah
but then you give it to him
you tell him that i thought of you and this is what i thought of
but that's a lie
you really just didn't want to be embarrassed about not having a gift for him because you knew that he'd be there at christmas with your family
and he said
i'm sorry i didn't buy you anything and you said
oh it's alright, no it's not alright
i'm kinda pissed off, said why
why the fuck did i buy a tie
why, why the
why the fuck did i buy a tie
if it weren't for this kid
ho ho, mistletoe,
i'm a baller i will pay my credit off in june
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3. |
Jesus Come On
02:08
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what would jesus do if he were to see you
lying to your kids about a man
who is creeping all the time, watch you walk the line
if your naughty then you won't get on the list
that's not the story
what would jesus say if he were here the day
you left out milk and cookies overnight
in the morning at the pew the sacrament you chew
is tainted with the frosting of your lie
that's not the story, let's get it right
jesus come on down through the chimney tonight
jesus come on down through the chimney
what would satan say if he were here today
gathered with the family and the kids
it's hard to say you missed him
but the children kiss him
just because he bought the bad ass gift
that's not the story, let's get it right
jesus come on down through the chimney tonight
jesus come on down through the chimney
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4. |
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santa claus i don't mind
i don't mind, it's alright
i don't mind getting coal
ho, ho, ho
because it's getting cold
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5. |
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don't you cry, because i
i didn't buy, didn't buy you anything
don't you know christmas don't cost a thing
at least not for me
at least not for me
get straight laid is the reason for the season
get gay laid is the reason for the season
put out
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Kyle's Xmas Denver, Colorado
Kyle J Gray with his friends from Santa Fe & Denver just may save Xmas yet!
Watch the full
Xmas special at www.KylesXmas.com
Presented by Meow Wolf
www.meowwolf.com
Moon Magnet Studios
www.moonmagnetmusic.com
... more
Kyle's Xmas recommends:
Wheelchair Sports Camp
go to album
Rubedo
go to album
Fed Rez
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Speakeasy - Live 2016
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Robins decided to release the recording of his 2016 comedy tour during the Covid-19 shutdown at the behest of fans.
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Taylor Ham, Egg, And Cheese
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Comedian Chris Gethard’s hilarious new surprise album is devoted to the great state of New Jersey, and the great state of New Jersey alone.
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In A Time Of Trouble A Wild Exultation
by Jaye Bartell
A stunning and sparse follow-up to last year's "Light Enough" from Brooklyn songwriter Jaye Bartell.
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